Log 25 of the search for meaning quest

On meaning: I found a book in my Kobo books suggestions called “The Surrender Experiment”: about a guy who decided to “let go of personal preferences and simply let life call the shots”. That sounds interesting. Just going with the flow of things, without fighting to get one specific way towards what I want to achieve.

I think I’ll try this new experiment in the following period and see how it goes: just accept what life throws at me and grow from that experience and see where life takes me if I let her take control – rather than me trying to control everything everyday. I feel it’s gonna be challenging and also liberating in many ways.

It’s also high time I make a review on my monthly goals and yearly goals. Continue reading

Log 24 of the search for meaning quest

This morning started with a new round of challenges on quitting the negative mind chatter.

But also with a new discovery. I finished reading last night the 4th book of Orson Scott Card’s Ender series: Children of the Mind. And there was a part, a discussion between 2 characters who thought their planet was to be destructed. They talked about death, about people enjoying the journey of being human and pretty much summed up a very good description of life meaning: Here it is:

“[…] What difference does it make then, the ones of us who had plans, what does it matter the work we’ve done? The children we’ve raised?” He looked pointedly at Olhado. “What will it matter then, that you have such a big happy family, if you’re all erased in one instant by that….bomb?”

“Not one moment of my life with my family has been wasted,” said Olhado quietly.

“But the point is to go on, isn’t it?” To connect with the future?”

“That’s one part, yes” said Olhado. “But part of the purpose is now, is the moment. And part of it is the web of connections. Links from soul to soul. If the purpose of life was just to continue into the future, then none of it would have meaning, because it would be all anticipation and preparation. There’s fruition Grego. There’s the happiness we’ve already had. The happiness of each moment. The end of our lives, even if there’s no forward continuation, no progeny at all, the end of our lives doesn’t erase the beginning”. Continue reading

Log 22 of the search for meaning quest

Today I decided to steer away any negative chatter from my head. I posted a quote by Lisa Nichols on Instagram: “Stop listening to the negative chatter inside your head”. And now I wanted to put that into action.

I do host a tremendous amount of negative chatter. I have all kinds of fights with people inside my mind so I let so little space for dreams, positive stuff and hope.

It’s been a challenge so far because negative thoughts are triggered by all kinds of stuff which I’m gently showing off each time I consciously remember what I wanted to do.

It’s a process that will take time, but I already start to feel it’s unburdening effects.

I also started being more conscious about what I eat. I became aware that what I eat becomes an actual part of me. That I’m filling my vessel with all the things that I put in.

That doesn’t mean I don’t eat bad stuff anymore, sometimes the urges to do that compel me, but I am more aware now. And I think this is the first step to making better choices. We’ll see.

It also came to me how much I need friends and people that are interested in the same things I am.

I always thought I was weird because I could not fit in and be like everyone else, but now I know there are other people out there preoccupied of the same stuff I am on personal development and I hope this blog and my Instagram will help me connect with them. I’m sure my small gang is waiting for me somewhere to discover them. 😊

Log 21 of the search for meaning quest

I woke up in a not very happy mood. Sad actually.

After one year and a half of paying the loan to the new apartment we have, I feel it was not a wise decision to do this move the first place. The benefits of being here are not worth it in my opinion, when compared to the things we could do, but are not doing to be able to support this expense.

Alex is of opinion that it’s OK to suffer a  bit (!) now and have later in life a place to rent and benefit from that money, like bonus on retirement fund. He has a valid point.

But I still have the same question coming over and over again: who is going to give us back the time that we are not using at it’s best right now, due to these limitations we self-impose? Continue reading

Log 20 of the search for meaning quest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On meaning: Many, many years ago, I convinced the grandma who raised me to write her life story on a notebook. She wrote a part of it, then stopped at some point, and I don’t know why, but I didn’t insist with her resuming.

Years later, when she passed away, this notebook was a sweet way to remember her.

I asked dad to help me finish her story from his memories.

He did a wonderful job and put everything in electronic form to make the process easier.

Yesterday, I asked him to write his own life story and he agreed. And this made me very happy. Continue reading

Log 19 of the seach for meaning quest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On new discoveries: Today I ate pasta and a raw sweet pepper for breakfast.

I noticed it is commonly accepted that breakfast should be the most important meal of the day, however, the commonly accepted breakfast options are quite limited.
So, lacking options and inspiration, I took the leftovers from yesterday and had a feast first thing in the morning. I think I’ll repeat this for the healthy options this change opens to me. And because of commodity and budgeting.

Continue reading

Log 18 of searching for meaning quest

As you may have noticed, between day 16 and 17 logs there was quite a pause.

It started by me saying one night: I am tired now, I will do this tomorrow. And the next day it was the same. The discipline that should have lasted me 365 days, took me only until day 16 this time around.

So I started to think: should I stop my experiment now? Should I continue anyway?

I felt I didn’t want to quit at this point. This reflection process is pretty interesting to me and rewarding. So I decided to do 365 logs anyway, even with this pause. See what I manage to learn about myself after all this time. Continue reading

Log 17 of the search for meaning quest

On meaning and parenting:  I had some interesting conversations with myself in the past days on the subject of parenting and relationship with children in general. This started while discussing with some friends at lunch over why people get married. Which, of course, led me then to think about parenting and how I relate to being a parent.
The one thing I understood step by step since becoming a parent myself is that my child does not belong to me. He belongs to himself. I am a teacher, a guide into how this world works and a source of love.

Continue reading