On meaning: I found a book in my Kobo books suggestions called “The Surrender Experiment”: about a guy who decided to “let go of personal preferences and simply let life call the shots”. That sounds interesting. Just going with the flow of things, without fighting to get one specific way towards what I want to achieve.
I think I’ll try this new experiment in the following period and see how it goes: just accept what life throws at me and grow from that experience and see where life takes me if I let her take control – rather than me trying to control everything everyday. I feel it’s gonna be challenging and also liberating in many ways.
It’s also high time I make a review on my monthly goals and yearly goals.
August monthly goals:
- Loose 1 kg – FAIL. I actually gained 2 more 😞. Although I cleaned my eating a lot, I do make a lot of binges still on unhealthy stuff and lead a sedentary life. And I will definitely need some massage to get the blood moving, after staying so much on a chair in front of the computer each day.
- Finish Neale Donald Walsch’s Conversations with God no 3. – FAIL -as enticing the book is, I didn’t finish it.
- Finish Ender’s game book 2 – PASS – I am at book 5 already and love the story. Maybe that’s why the previous point failed.
- Produce less waste – PASS – I already started having my take-away food in glass jars so I don’t throw single use-plastics every day. I will add this item to the yearly goals as well.
- On travel more – August: did 1 weekend at the seaside and will do a 2 weeks and a half roadtrip to Europe. Yey moment!
- On being a better parent: I learn and learn every day. Being a parent made me change so much and challenged a lot of limits I didn’t even know I had. This is a continuous improvement point but I would say that growth has happened.
- Find more meaning in everyday life – Yes. And yes again. Doing these logs as often as I can helped me better understand myself. And also keep track of all the changes I’m going through. Some more subtle, some less so.
So as I decided I would let things flow as they may, this also gets me into a position to analyze a lot about how I feel about things and why. As opposed to always thinking what to do next and be frustrated when things don’t happen according to my will.
Today I ate breakfast at home. Bread, butter and honey together with delicious green tea, courtesy of my mother in-law.
The first challenge to my decision to go with the flow happened with Alex’s stepdad came by to help Alex mount the TV on the wall, because it’s Saturday.
I dislike this person big time. He shouts and talks dirty with everyone and his family makes no exception. Today it’s been no difference. He shouts at Alex all kind of shitty stuff even now as I write and it takes me some energy to not let the anger get the best of me and kick him out of the house.
Alex is a grown up. He called him here willingly. If he accepts all that, it’s his decision.
Go with the flow, I say to myself. I feel the anger building on my left side and in my head but I let it go.
My son Levi is again a in a phase of “Go away” I just want my dad. I go with the flow, let him be and continue writing. Let’s see where this takes me next.
Of course later on, we went back to playing together.
This going with the flow exercise is quite a challenge.