Log 31 of the search for life meaning journey

Here is me overcoming procrastination and writing on two consecutive days in a row. Cheers to that!

These days, these subjects preoccupy my mind the most:

  1. Producing less trash and recycling for a sustainable future
  2. Traveling the world with Alex and Levi
  3. Meeting people that share my interests
  4. Helping causes I believe in
  5. Building a business besides my office job

In random order.

On travel:  A few of you might know that, about a year and a half ago we moved into a bigger apartment: a 4 rooms one. Unfortunately, that came with a price tag with a lot of zeros attached and the loan for it, together with the one for the car manages to erode our finances big time. We are not living a bad life, don’t get me wrong, but we are missing a lot of adventures and bonding time while traveling the world together that can’t be replaced with anything else.

We are considering (I came up with the idea and now we’re evaluating it) to move back to our 2 rooms apartment, sell this one and use the money (and lack of loans) to live our life, see the world while also saving up for our son’s studies and a fund for our old days.

It’s complicated actually. And each choice has it’s advantages and disadvantages.

On one hand, it’s good to have an apartment that will increase in value over time. And the extra space brings comfort, the area is good, there is parking space. On the other hand, these years of bonding with our son over adventures, seeing the world and opening our minds and hearts together in this process – will not come back. And staying at home together is not the same – I’ve seen it enough to know the huge difference.

And I think that either way we’ll choose, in the end, we’ll feel like we’ve missed on something. Now it’s just important to try and figure out which way the balance goes.

On parenting: Levi and I starting having actual conversations (like wow!). We talk about what he did at kindergarten, what I did at work, what he liked most about his day, what I liked most about mine, what each of us ate.

It’s quite fascinating to get a sneak peak into this side of his world he has when he’s away. And it’s fascinating to get a sneak peak into his thoughts and feelings.





Log 30 of the search for life meaning journey

I found myself again in my habit of procrastination. Although this “should be daily logging” helps me tremendously put my mind in order, observe myself and evolve, I can’t seem to be holding on to it.

Procrastination and I are, as you may imagine,  not new acquaintances. I saw that I had the tendency to leave things to the last minute and even though I have the habit of leaving an impeccable work behind, this way of doing things add lots of stress in the equation. So I think I’ll need to add a performance indicator about this too 🙂 Because once I start the writing, I love it so much! but until I get to that….

On making healthier choices:

Just before we left the house the 3 of us took some immunity treatment based on bee products.

This morning I ate a cheese pastry with a looong plain espresso so I’m having a lot of water after. I have a few days since I want to find something healthier to eat in the mornings.

Had a cooked veggie plus raw salad lunch, another coffee and plenty of water.

I think I do my 2 liters before leaving work.

On travel:  this weekend I’ve been the godmother to the wedding of my dear dear friend Simona (17 years of friendship – seems like forever!) and her lovely husband Alex which happened in another town, Ramnicu-Valcea. We’ve stayed at the only museum hotel in the country and this place was fascinating. Pieces of art like paintings and statues were everywhere from the reception, to the halls and the rooms. And there is an equally beautiful park just outside. It’s called Grand-Hotel Sofianu – totally recommend.

I got myself some pretty cool pictures for memories from this wedding. Like this one here with my lovely rented dress from dresscod.

On becoming a better parent: I don’t know how, but I feel I have a better relationship with my kiddo.  I also remained behind on the parenting course  by Urania Cremene, that helped me a lot to better understand the psychology of children and people in general – so resuming is on the to-do list.

On finding life meaning:  At this point in time, traveling with Alex and Levi helps me bring most sense in everything. I would love to be able to take a year off and travel with them around the world. I feel I really need this. Still thinking how to make this happen.

On producing less trash: I’ve done a lot of things to reduce my trash print, but some things still seem to elude me: like how to have clean water that you are safe to give to your 3 years old, while traveling and which does not come from a plastic bottle?

So far I’ve managed this:

  • I take my Ikea glass bowls with me to buy lunch and ask the server to put my to do meal in there.
  • I use a menstrual cup and reusable pads
  • I use solid soap, usually in paper packaging instead of plastic liquid soap
  • I don’t use make up and my face thanks me for it. I recently also gave up the cleanser and toner, because using a cotton pad every day sensitized my skin. I now wash my face with plain cold water and my face is much happier. And no longer so dry. Before, I had to take some cream with my because in the afternoon my face would become so dry that it felt it shrank a number. Now I’m perfectly comfortable until my night cream moment. So less pads, less toner and less cleanser in the trash. Not to mention the more money in my pocket thing and those guys were not cheap.
  • I use organic detergents and house cleansers which gives us less chemicals to process through our bodies and less chemicals that pollute the water and soil.
  • I buy from the farmers market as much as I can and do my best not to forget to bring my own bag with me when doing that, so I can refuse the plastic one they offer.
  • I have a 750 ml glass bottle on my desk for my daily water intake.
  • We use a quite fancy water filter at home to avoid bottled water
  • I use rental services or things borrowed from friends for events attire that I know I won’t be able to wear more than once or twice.

Looking at it, it doesn’t seem bad at all, but there are still a lot of things to do.

See you tomorrow.



Log 30 of the search for meaning quest

Getting back from holiday and going back to the schedule I left, is pretty tough.

I keep getting across blogs and blog posts about people that took a year or more to travel the world and I find myself wanting more and more to do the same.

I feel the need to have that freedom, that adventure, to taste the world in this different and thrilling way.

I am grateful for the job I have, and the people I have in my life but I still pin for something “crazy” like this.

I ate a cheese pastry today while thinking about all this. What is really important in life? What risks are worth taking and which not? And how would it feel and be if we took on doing something like this?

This blog really stuck with me.

Log 29 of the search to find meaning – Trip to Europe

As the trip is already over for a week now, I need to get going with journaling it before the details fade altogether.

So here it comes:

Day 7: Verona/Gardaland

The principal point of interest of the trip was going to Gardaland. But what I didn’t expect was that the journey has been so so wonderful that the main point has been actually everywhere we went. The whole journey itself.

We stayed in an old convent building that has been beautifully restored, called Relais Sant Agata which is a 15 minutes drive to Gardaland and 15 minutes drive to Verona, but it’s not very easily accessible without a car. We loved it so, so much. The building and room were the most beautiful accommodation so far and the host has been nothing short of amazing herself. They even washed and tumble dried a bag of dirty clothes for no extra charge. This place is great for kids as they also have a nice terrace, garden and inflatable pool.

We were to Gardaland in the evening and with lunch and all we ended getting back in at around 11 looking extremely forward to hit the pillow.

Day 9: Gardaland

This day was only for adventures and fun in the park. We got the tickets online because they had better prices there. We also had to take a priority pass (60 euros) because one day before I stayed 1h 35 for a 45 seconds roller coaster. (!!!!!)

With the pass, we only stayed 5-7 minutes in the line for each thing and was totally worth it. Especially when Levi fell asleep in the stroller after lunch and we got to take turns on who goes to what fun.

All in all, the day was magic . There is so much fun to be had by 3 year old in the park! There are entire sections dedicated to their age group that a kiddo could stay a few whole days there without getting bored.

We had dinner at the place where we had almost all our meals besides from breakfast: Antichi Sappori (a 5 minute drive) and took some time to relax after a full beautiful day.

Day 10: Verona

Verona was not in our visit plan but our host told us so many times that we should see it, that in the end we did.

We enrolled for the free walking tour and our guide Jane was the best we’ve met so far in the free tours. She managed to make the 3 of us to walk 6 km to see Verona and then pointed us to an amazing restaurant where I ate some of the best pasta I’ve ever had. Forgot the name of it though 🙁

Day 11: Zagreb-Belgrad

We left for Zagreb early in the morning after breakfast. We stopped there for lunch and was amazed to see how many healthy options were there as compared to everywhere we’ve been in this trip.

We had an amazing meal here, stretched our legs and continued to Belgrad.

In Belgrad we found the best accommodation and food we’ve had so far in Garni D10 hotel

We stayed there for 2 days and did almost nothing other than play, eat good food and sleep.  We postponed visiting till next time we’ll get here and it was so so relaxing.

Day 12: Bucharest

We left early after breakfast to get back home. And had the unfortunate idea to drive faster than the legal speed. Behind us, a non-marked police car, which we didn’t know it belonged to the police, flashed Alex from behind. He thought that was a speedy driver and speeded himself to go in front of the guy on the lane next to us.

However, it seemed it’s a nasty trick of the Serbian police to squeeze more money out of tourists. Because they flash you from unmarked cars to make you speed to get out of the way, then film you with bigger speed that you initially had when they decided to follow, and then there is nothing you can really do at that point.

If you don’t want to waste long hours to pay a fine, totally be careful on the Serbian roads. We added 5 more hours to our trip and 250 euros minus.

But in the end, the only important thing was that we had a great trip. Much better that I would have ever imagined. And that we got home all right and with great memories and longing to be on the road again.

And we bonded so much, the three of us. Travel does open one’s eyes, mind and soul. I felt I became more patient, more calm, more involved, more into the flow.


Log 25 of the search for meaning quest

On meaning: I found a book in my Kobo books suggestions called “The Surrender Experiment”: about a guy who decided to “let go of personal preferences and simply let life call the shots”. That sounds interesting. Just going with the flow of things, without fighting to get one specific way towards what I want to achieve.

I think I’ll try this new experiment in the following period and see how it goes: just accept what life throws at me and grow from that experience and see where life takes me if I let her take control – rather than me trying to control everything everyday. I feel it’s gonna be challenging and also liberating in many ways.

It’s also high time I make a review on my monthly goals and yearly goals. Continue reading

Log 24 of the search for meaning quest

This morning started with a new round of challenges on quitting the negative mind chatter.

But also with a new discovery. I finished reading last night the 4th book of Orson Scott Card’s Ender series: Children of the Mind. And there was a part, a discussion between 2 characters who thought their planet was to be destructed. They talked about death, about people enjoying the journey of being human and pretty much summed up a very good description of life meaning: Here it is:

“[…] What difference does it make then, the ones of us who had plans, what does it matter the work we’ve done? The children we’ve raised?” He looked pointedly at Olhado. “What will it matter then, that you have such a big happy family, if you’re all erased in one instant by that….bomb?”

“Not one moment of my life with my family has been wasted,” said Olhado quietly.

“But the point is to go on, isn’t it?” To connect with the future?”

“That’s one part, yes” said Olhado. “But part of the purpose is now, is the moment. And part of it is the web of connections. Links from soul to soul. If the purpose of life was just to continue into the future, then none of it would have meaning, because it would be all anticipation and preparation. There’s fruition Grego. There’s the happiness we’ve already had. The happiness of each moment. The end of our lives, even if there’s no forward continuation, no progeny at all, the end of our lives doesn’t erase the beginning”. Continue reading

Log 22 of the search for meaning quest

Today I decided to steer away any negative chatter from my head. I posted a quote by Lisa Nichols on Instagram: “Stop listening to the negative chatter inside your head”. And now I wanted to put that into action.

I do host a tremendous amount of negative chatter. I have all kinds of fights with people inside my mind so I let so little space for dreams, positive stuff and hope.

It’s been a challenge so far because negative thoughts are triggered by all kinds of stuff which I’m gently showing off each time I consciously remember what I wanted to do.

It’s a process that will take time, but I already start to feel it’s unburdening effects.

I also started being more conscious about what I eat. I became aware that what I eat becomes an actual part of me. That I’m filling my vessel with all the things that I put in.

That doesn’t mean I don’t eat bad stuff anymore, sometimes the urges to do that compel me, but I am more aware now. And I think this is the first step to making better choices. We’ll see.

It also came to me how much I need friends and people that are interested in the same things I am.

I always thought I was weird because I could not fit in and be like everyone else, but now I know there are other people out there preoccupied of the same stuff I am on personal development and I hope this blog and my Instagram will help me connect with them. I’m sure my small gang is waiting for me somewhere to discover them. 😊